My Weight woes

I realised after a year or so that my health was really suffering, and began to eat more. I got strong cravings for milk, cheese and oranges and can only summise that my body was calling out for vitamins. I also was being treated for depression and anxiety and the tablets made everything a haze! My weight came back up to about 65k over a year or so i guess.

I gained steadily while pregnant and left hospital at 86kilos. I did a lot of soul searching in the year my daughter was born, knowing that i had someone else to worry about now, wanting to put the bad things in life behind me. I lived right on the ocean and used to put her in the pram twice day and go for long walks, alone with my thoughts. I decided to eat a healthy diet because it was no longer just about me. I lost weight and settled at around 70 kilos, and spent about 6 years at that weight. I still, of course, thought i was huge and refused to wear shorts! I was about a size 14. My mum had always talked about losing weight, was always going to start her diet on Monday (because all diet charts start on monday you know), so i had always heard diet convos around the dinner table. I was very body concious and very shy in my 20s and hated having my photo taken, and that is very evident in my photo albums now. Arent we silly?.

In my thirties i started to relax more in life and enjoy it, helped by my husband Mark. he is a good man who always encouraged me to be happy and never critisized my weight. I probably gained about 2 kilos a year i would say. In 1999 i joined weight watchers and i was 99.9 kilos. I was shocked at just how much i weighed. I set to work and lost 14 kilos fairly quickly, then decided for financial reasons i would not go to meetings any more. I kept my weight fairly even until 2004 when i started to increase again. I rejoined in February 06 at 95.7. I had already lost 4.2 k at home, realising i was back to the start! I think part of my reason for gaining was stress eating. My depression had risen again, i was having a large amount of nightmares and suffering shocking anxiety. I also had really bad asthma that year and Mark had been very sick. I think i smothered those feelings with chocolate, coca cola and pringles sour creme chips!

It has been a long road for me and i am down to 83.4 kilos. I feel so much better now, and I work for weight watchers which means meetings dont cost me any money. I really believe in the program and i know it works if we follow it.

I have been going through early menopause and I also often take steriod medication for my asthma. I injured my hip in late 2005 after slipping on a wet floor and doing the splits and my hip really hasnt been the same since. I take no medication for it because i found they were useless. I am sure all the steriods slow my losses and menopause also takes a toll but i will get there. I am hoping to make goal this year, but it will take a supreme effort.