And so it is.....

First two pics around 103.9, third pic 82k

My Journey began around Christmas 2005, and my highest ever weight was 103.9 at my doctors surgery. I am only 160cms tall, so that is a lot of weight on a little frame i can tell you.

One thing i remember about being fat is that i was always tired! I had no energy whatsoever and often felt overwhelmed and unhappy. Every single day i would start a 'diet'. It never stopped in my mind, i always thought about how fat i was and that i needed to lose weight. It filled my every waking thought, and i would make a list of what i needed to do and where it would take me. I never put it entirely into action though, so i would only ever lose one or two kilos and then regain three. I'm sure if you are here reading, you understand because you have done it all yourself.

I was getting really uncomfortable and straining size 22 jeans. I was getting very short on clothes because i refused to buy them, as i was going to lose weight...yeah..right. I had gained the last 6 or so kilos fairly quickly, i now know, due to the menopause beginning. At the time i just felt i was old and jaded, i had night sweats, hot flushes, irregular periods and i felt angry with the world. I also had a fall about this time on a wet dining room floor, so a lot of the exercise i did stopped too. I wasn't a very happy camper at all.

When i was younger, i was chubby but not fat. When i left school i went for a medical for employment and i remember the scales settling on 64k. I nearly cried and felt so huge, but i now know i was within bmi. Life took its twists and turns, and i got down to 57k and stayed there for a long time, until a bout of anorexia saw me go much much lower. I hid from the world for a while and ate a steak and an apple every day. if i didn't exercise, i didn't get the steak. My thinking was warped and out of touch, and the only thing i could control was what i ate. With time, and a lot of concern from those around me...i turned things and went back to around 55k and stayed there for a few years, but gradually life has a way of changing things and my weight crept up again. After my daughter was born i left the hospital at 85k and lost about 5k, then hovered around the 80 mark for some time..but gradually lost back down to 72, which is a fairly happy weight for my body, or used to be. i can maintain it and still eat reasonably well, so i am setting myself that goal for now. I moved into the home where i live in 1989, and i know i was 74k. isn't it funny how we know what weight we were at certain times? it just goes to show how much of our mindset is wrapped around our weight doesn't it?

I lost about 8 kilos on my own and joined weight watchers at 96.7 in February 2006. I soon became a weigher at my meeting and have never looked back. I find the meetings inspirational, not as much as the content, yeah its great, but the people. you people. the members who join, especially those who stay and lose that weight. I have met some wonderful strong women in my journey who i know will stay slim for life. I enjoy watching the changes in them both physically and mentally, the growing confidence and 'i know i can do this' attitude they develop. I feel privileged to know them. Also, i love the weight watchers Australia community forums. They keep my focused and on track, and they keep me away from the refrigerator! You people are what keeps me sane.

I love music! any kind, its always playing if its not I'm playing it or singing it, even at work i sing inside my head. I enjoy chatting online to friends and i love bush walking and generally walking anyway. I feel happy at the beach summer or winter and love sunny windy days, picnics with the family and games of cricket or beach volleyball. I hope to inspire others to lose weight, and most importantly, keep it off. My husband and daughter are the loves of my life, nothing would be the same without them. They both give me so much, one with his tireless fighting of his illness and the other with her sheer joy of life. I am very lucky. I like to cycle and do some weight lifting, but have been a bit slack on it lately though have kept the walking up. I am determined to lose another 10 kilos by Christmas.

Stick with the program, it works!!!!!!